domingo, 3 de junho de 2018

(a)social media life

; more and more I've been struggling with social media lately. Instagram is long gone because it was making me more depressed than I would've liked to admit. I still peek a bit on my favorite people but nothing that serious, we're casual now.

And since we're on it, I'd like to take the leap and delete my facebook altogether. Because in reality, if we look at it with "seeing" eyes, it doesn't matter at all. I've been spending most of my awake time for the past 9 years in things that... don't matter. And all the time I could be using to do other things, to actually invest in what I want to do, to actually pursue my interests, is spent there, refreshing and scrolling, even when there's nothing going on. 

The thing is that almost all of my job opportunities came from this place. And it's a platform I depend on to let my work out there as a photographer, to reach people. I just wish I wouldn't BE there so much. Maybe a weekly update would be just fine. Maybe even less. Just thinking about it makes my FOMO kick in, but the truth is most of the things (apart from job related) that I've been doing exactly because of said fomo haven't really been all that enjoyable?
It's still good for my anxiety to make and have plans and really go through with them but I guess doing them because "everyone is going and it seems so cool" is not cutting it for me anymore.

I want to reclaim my time.

I want to actually start watching the movies I add day after day to my to-view list. I want to start actually reading the books I keep buying and filling every solid surface in my house with, I want to start having time to actually... do nothing. Started with deleting most of my friends and unfollowing most of the pages so my feed will soon be filled with nothing more than a tumbleweed here or there just tumbleweeding its way through the emptiness. This has forced me to ask people for their numbers and made me realize how little I've been using my phone as what it is: a phone! I had around 10 numbers there. 2 or 3 friends, work, family, dentist.

But yes, don't think I'm going to be Mrs. Perfect from here on or that this is something definitive. Social media is not the problem, internet is not the problem. The way I use it, is. The way I am addicted to it, is. The way it takes over my life, is. The way it is messing with my head and making me worse than I need to be, definitely is.

I just need to learn how to use it instead of being used by it. Because I've learnt so much here I could never pretend otherwise. I don't think I will ever leave behind the blog or Tumblr, and that is ok, because these two are a kind of platform that enables me to grow and actually discover new things and put them in action. For now, I will try to detach from the ones that have the opposite effect and make a fresh start, start relaxing, taking a step back, doing things with a purpose and avoid to get dragged into this so much.

yes, I. guess that's it.

2 comentários:

  1. I came back on facebook only for work purpose. I was so happy without it! If you'd like, I'll be glad to follow your tumblr, would you mind?